8. Service to Society
Give me a hand.
Yeah, go take that thing. It's real heavy.
I'll be back. I can only do one thing at a time.
Grandpa...?
Where can I put it? - On the table over there.
On the table, right.
I don't know where to put it. - I'll take it.
Well... - Stop. Where did you get that?
It was at your place. Isn't it yours?
No. Shit, man. My mother got it from Tom Jones.
Tom Jones...
Get out of here!
I've always dreamt of playing the mandolin.
It's sunset in the summer garden...
Children run through the grass...
Grandpa's playing the mandolin between quiet sips of tea.
Do you want it over here? - Yes, somewhere on the wall.
She lives up there.
All I need is the money, then. - You'll get it afterwards.
Oh, no. Money first. I told you from day one.
What if I don't like it?
That's the risk you run, the name of the game.
But I've seen no drawings, no sketches...
I've had no complaints so far. Take it or leave it.
Shit, I'll take it.
This is what we agreed on.
Are you gonna hang around? - How long does it take?
A couple of hours. - Okay, I'll be back to check on you.
I won't go far.
Take the mask off.
Please have a seat.
The prosecutor may proceed. - Honorable Court...
The Accused, Daniel Clausen, who is without permanent domicile
Is accused of having contravened Article 291 of the penal code.
The prosecutor demands imprisonment and...
The proprietor claims compensation for torts amounting to $34,000.
Please have a seat.
I now deliver a judgment in the case.
The Accused Daniel Clausen shall be adjudged to prison for 60 days.
The imprisonment shall not be executed -
- if the Accused will keep the following conditions:
1) The Accused may not commit an illegal act for one year.
2) The Accused shall in the same period fulfill 50 hours -
- of prescribed social services.
Thank you.
Bye, Dad.
I agree with the judge.
He could have given you the red card straight away.
But instead, he chose to warn you with a yellow card.
I'm not sure I would have done the same thing.
You're kidding me...
You just crossed a red light!
It's not even 15 minutes since you were sentenced -
- and you're already on the wrong side of the law.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Princess. Did you like your presents?
Yeah, but some of my friends don't like the sodas.
That's strange.
Can you do magic tricks? - Not now, dear. I'm so tired.
But it's my birthday!
Have you ever seen a man hanging in the air?
No...
Sometimes I can do it, sometimes not.
I can only do it on special occasions.
It helps if you are nice and quiet... Quiet as a mouse, okay?
What's this? - Soda, right?
It's alcohol.
I'll just take it back to the store and return it...
Straight away.
9. RED CARD
Roger... Allan. - Hi, Roger.
Today is your big day. Are you ready? - Yes, totally.
We heard that your theory exam went quite well.
Couldn't have gone better. I was top of my class.
These are your linesmen. They are Peter...
And Michael. - Hi, Roger.
Any inspiring comments before we start?
Yes, please. Let me just emphasize the fact that I have the right -
- according to DBU's paragraph number six -
- to discharge and expel you in case you show unusual behavior -
- or any unusual involvement during the game.
This is my right and I will show no mercy.
I would also like to point out -
- that from now on the penalty box is mine. Just stay out of it.
I have total control so you just mind your own business.
You guys just concentrate on running. Am I clear?
Yes.
Last but not least...
Football is a team effort but a referee's effort -
- is a one man's effort.
So don't make me look like a clown out there.
That's settled, then. Now where is the audience?
Well, it is not a real game. We just set it up for your exam.
I just want you to know that I prefer working under pressure.
But in this case, I'll have to create that pressure from within.
I'm sure... - At least we have the cheerleaders.
That should spice things up a little bit.
Those aren't cheerleaders. They are the team captains.
Oh, no. There has been a terrible misunderstanding.
Nobody informed me that this would be a women's match...
Can't you flip a coin? - What did you say?
Can't you flip a coin?
That kind of attitude doesn't belong on a Danish football field.
Yellow card! - You can't do that.
One more word and you go straight to the freezer.
Calm down. - Turn around, now!
Hello, a yellow card to number 5. I'm having problems with my pen...
So we'll just remember it, right?
Kick off! Fairplay.
Can I squeeze in?
Come on, for crying out loud!
Guess what this is?
I'm cracking an egg, right...
Penalty!
Come here, you. Come here!
Red card! You're going straight to the freezer!
Hold it! Did she fake it?
Ok, I withdraw the red card. But it is still a penalty.
A penalty! A penalty!
Hi.
What happened? - I have a cake in the oven.
Is it burnt?
No, I'm pregnant.
I've taken six tests and they all turned out positive.
You mean, negative. - No.
Sorry, my dyslexia... - If you're pregnant, it's positive.
So you decided to celebrate with a bottle of champagne?
I was so nervous. I couldn't pee.
But... when did this happen? - Does it matter?
Wait, let me check my calendar. - What has that got to do with it?
Since when do you have a calender? - What do you mean?
A lot of people have a calendar.
It's normal to have one.
Damn it, Daniel. Now there are holes all over the place.
These aren't holes. The holes are punched into the paper.
This is what's inside the holes. - Stop it, Daniel.
You make me hysterical if you don't stop this right now.
I can't be a father of anything. I don't even read the newspapers.
I don't even know who's the Prime Minister.
Don't...
Stop it, Daniel. Get out. Get out of here, now!
Get out!
Are you out of your mind? - How can you say that?
You can't be a father. - Okay, thanks for the back up.
Humanity is a disease; a cancer spreading all over the world.
You can't contribute to it. It is irresponsible of you.
Take a look at kids. They're overweight, disgusting -
- with liver damage and diabetes. And they don't know nothing!
They're forming a new species! It's them or us!
I'm out of here.
You've heard my opinion. Think about it, for your own sakes.
10. Ten Commandments
See you later. You know that I'm leaving today?
Where to? - Belgium.
Why? - Well, I'm working.
Is it a court case? - Yes, but I'll be back soon.
It's just a couple of days.
Bye, Dad.
Don't forget to take pictures.
Passengers on a flight nr. SL 237 to Brussels.
Due to a failure in our computer system -
- we have overbooked our flight.
If anyone wishes to stay in Copenhagen an extra night -
- and depart tomorrow, the airline would of course -
- pay for luxury accomodation and 35= dollars as a compensation.
Excuse me, would you like to stay an extra night in Copenhagen?
No, thanks.
Due to a failure in our computer system...
I'll take your offer.
Hello. It's Jason Otteby.
How are you?
Yes...
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
I won't be able to make it today.
I'm ill.
Definitely. I will be in Brussels tomorrow.
I will. Thank you.
Excuse me. I'm not going to Rosenvængets Allé, after all.
Would you like to stop here? - No, I'm heading to...
Radisson Hotel.
Yes?
Good evening. - Evening.
A present for Jason Otteby.
From whom? - Your airline.
Enjoy your evening.
Thank you very much.
Not only the beautiful tonality, a delayed and an expressive phrase -
- but also a dreamlike feeling.
In fact, this piece of music should be dreamt, not played.
Would you allow me to take your place?
Don't tie these two phrases together...
They are two different elements of the same musical condition.
It's a kind of question...
And here, again here...
Gently...
You ask the future...
Did you know -
- that an average man breaks 3-4 of the 10 commandments a day?
No.
Tejs...
Let's go downtown...
And break all 10 commandments, one by one. Systematically.
I'm not sure that I can remember all of them. Wait...
Thou shalt sponsor thy father and mother.
Thou shalt sponsor thy father and mother?!
It's thou shalt honor thy father and mother.
Whatever. "Thou shalt not commit adultery". I'm ready for that one.
It's not in the Bible. - Yes, it is too.
No, it's: "Thou shalt not be tempted by thy neighbor's wife. "
You're joking? "Do not be tempted by thy neighbor's wife. "
That's almost too easy.
Then there is the one about killing. That's a tough one.
Let's start with the whores.
Didn't we agree that they were not a part of the commandments?
Don't be so orthodox.
I won't touch a whore unless it breaks one of the 10 Commandments.
I'm sure it breaks something biblical.
I'm counting to ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
Five... What comes after five? - I'm logged off, Tejs.
I won't say sex... I mean six.
No!
Franc, what's going on? You didn't open...?
I got it from Tom Jones! - I know, mom.
It's just that something terrible happened.
There better be a good reason...
I'm pregnant.
It's not so bad.
They put you to sleep, you watch videos for a couple of days...
And it's over before you know it.
Why does it have to be like that? - What?
Maybe I want to keep the baby.
You can't do that to me. I'm not ready.
You're not ready?
I'm not ready to become a Grandma, just like that.
What are you doing here?
Easy, baby. And for the record, this is my bedroom.
But how... How did this happen?
You don't remember much, do you?
I hope I didn't kill anyone... - Killed anyone?
Where are my clothes? - Don't ask me.
I want them right now! - Easy, now.
Come to Grandma.
Relax.
11. A PERSONAL CALL
Daniel, I've been trying to call... Where are you?
Franc, I really screwed up this time.
Why? Where are you?
Hello?
I'm in...
Costa del Sol. Spain.
How can you be in Spain? - Hello?
I'm in a pay phone. It's swallowing up all my coins.
I guess I panicked. - How long will you be there?
It's a two week's package deal.
Just enjoy your vacation. Bye.
Hold on, hold on. Franc?
Franc... Hello?
This isn't working, Daniel. We've got to do something.
It is growing inside of me.
I think we've got to have it removed.
Yeah, this doesn't work. Not at all. Listen, we...
Hello?
We're heading to Tabernas, a village which used to be
An old Arabic fortress known as Al-Kazaaba.
Today, Tabernas is known for its delicious olive oil -
- and an excellent desert.
How can a desert be excellent? Well, it is full of stones.
Stones are an interesting phenomena, always shifting.
Always on the move.
Always interesting.
Cliffs, rocks, heaps of stone.
Just to make it clear...
A stone can be as small as 2=mm and as big as 2=mm.
Sorry, it's the other way around.
Anything bigger than 2=mm is defined as rock.
Anything smaller than 2=mm is sand.
At the end of the Ice Age... - Excuse me.
Please stop the bus. - You need to go to the toilet?
No, I just want to go off. Stop the bus, I'm going off.
Sorry, I can't do that. We're in the middle of the desert.
Just let me out of here.
But... I can't do that. I'm sorry, but I just can't.
Stop this bus and let me out. Right now.
I'm working hard, it's been a rough day. I'm very tired.
Brussels?
It's kind of boring, really.
12. DARK HORSE
Daniel!
Welcome home.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, sweetheart.
The time is set.
The time?
For the abortion.
When is it? - Tomorrow.
What are you doing, love?
I'll be with you soon.
Are you playing yatzy all by yourself? - It's strange...
You become totally hooked.
You almost feel like you can control the turn of the dice.
Franc?
It's almost seven o'clock.
I was dreaming of giraffes.
We should get going. - Why?
We're going to the hospital.
What should I wear? - Does it matter?
I'm sorry.
We don't have time for this.
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